


I'm Sorry

by VeraIsAPlant



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Mental Illness, Negative Thoughts, Other, Self Harm, Strong Language, Suicide, Suicide Notes, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 06:43:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13429053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeraIsAPlant/pseuds/VeraIsAPlant
Summary: All that is left is a simple note.





	I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning: contains suicide, self harm, and contains depressing thoughts.
> 
> I wrote this when I wasn't feeling all that well in my head, and I simply had to get my thoughts back in order, so I wrote down what I was feeling and turned it into a short story.

“I’m sorry.” That’s what’s written on the note next to me. It had taken me ages to finally figure out what to write. I wanted to thank the people around me for always being there for me, I wanted to explain why, I wanted to put in something more than just these two words, but I simply couldn’t. I was sorry.

Sorry for not being able to be the person everyone expected me to be. Sorry for not being strong enough. Sorry for not being able to stop myself. Sorry for letting it get this far. Sorry for giving up. Just sorry.

I also wish I was strong enough. Strong enough to fight against myself, against my thoughts. To fight for my life. To fight to spend another day with my family and friends. To fight to do what I love most. To fight for whatever the future had in store for me.  But I couldn’t. It was not meant to be for me.

I look around my room for the last time. All these memories, all these good and happy moments that lived here… Unfortunately they weren’t good enough to keep me here. They weren’t good enough to outweigh the bad.

If only I had been strong. If only I had been more careful. If only my mind hadn’t been this sick.

That’s just it, isn’t it? It takes a sick mind and a screw up to send a person down a dark and empty path. A very negative, dark and empty path at that. And that was my path. I messed up. Not once, but so many times. And each time I ended up blaming myself the most. Even if other people had forgiven me, I would still beat myself up about it, because I was the one who was to blame. And every time that happened, my mind got a little darker, a little more sick, and slowly my happiness started leaving me. Piece by piece.

My mind was sick, and I tried to find help, but I simply couldn’t. What if it wasn’t sick enough? What if they couldn’t help me? What if they didn’t listen to me? What if they didn’t accept what I had to say?

Tears are streaming down my cold cheeks. I am done. Done with my mind telling me lies. Done with having to pretend to be happy when I’m not. Done with blaming myself. Done with hurting myself. Done with being a coward. Done with being in pain. Just done with anything and everything.

I feel the sharp edges of the blade that has cut me so many times. The pain and the blame coming with it. I feel courage, thinking that this is the solution. This will end it all. It will end my suffering, my pain, my thoughts. Myself.

Darkness consumes me and I let it. This isn’t like any darkness I have ever known. Not like the darkness that swallowed me so many times before. The painful and hurtful darkness. No, this is blissful, calm and peaceful; this was it.


End file.
